An Unexpected Shade of Grey
by DrawnToTheRhythm
Summary: Missing scenes and a tag to Shades of Grey. SJ


"SG-1, dismissed. Please report to my office at oh-seven-hundred tomorrow morning," Hammond announced to the Gateroom.

"Yes, Sir."

As soon as the Gate swooshed closed, Sam followed General Hammond out of the Gateroom and continued beyond him, instead of following him to the Control room she disappeared down the lower corridor toward the elevator. Pulling her swipe card roughly from her pocket she slammed it down through the card reader with far more force than was necessary and tapped her foot impatiently as the car whirred into life beyond the grey metal door. The doors opened with a ping and, before they were entirely opened, Sam dived in and sharply pushed the button for her lab.

Sam stared at the wall in silence, one foot leaning against the wall bracing herself to propel her forward as soon as the car reached her floor. She strode down the empty corridor, not even stopping to switch the lights on in her lab. Grabbing her helmet, pack and leather jacket, still in her blue BDU trousers, blue shirt and black t-shirt, she fled her lab and straight back to the elevator. At the base entrance she silently signed out, ignoring the silent lieutenant on duty and not noticing his nervous 'Evening, Ma'am' as she marched out towards the parking lot and into the cold.

Slamming her foot down on the kickstand, Sam revved her bike and headed for the gate. Flicking up her helmet, she forced an approximation of a smile onto her face just long enough for the guard to open the gate. And with that Sam sped off into the darkness.

%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%

Sam slowed as she approached her driveway and hit the GDO next to the throttle. Her garage door pulled up and Sam rode her motorcycle to a stop just inside as the door closed behind her. Sam kicked the stand, killing the engine and swung her leg over and yanked off her helmet in one swift move. Tossing the helmet onto her workbench, Sam strode up the steps two at a time into her house from the unlocked interior door and peeled off her jacket, flinging it across the room to land in a heap on the sofa.

Sam grabbed a crystal tumbler from the dresser and stormed into the kitchen to grab the almost-full bottle of 10 year old McCallan out of the cupboard. Pouring far more into the glass than two fingers, Sam leant back against the counter and took a deep gulp of the amber liquid, wincing as the whisky burned the back of her throat. She slammed the tumbler down onto the counter with a loud thud and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Pushing herself off the counter, Sam grabbed the tumbler in one hand, the whisky in the other and aimed herself in the general direction of the sofa. Collapsing onto the sofa unceremoniously, Sam placed the bottle between her outstretched legs and reached for the remote on her CD player. Pushing 'play', the sound of a tinkling piano and rolling thunder as the track started had Sam snorting into her glass. How apt!

Sam couldn't bring herself to change the track as she gulped back several more mouthfuls of the bitter alcohol and sunk further into the sofa.

_I finished crying in the instant that you left_

_And I can't remember where or when or how_

_And I banished every memory you and I had ever made..._

Sam snorted again as her eyes began to fill with tears that she stubbornly refused to allow to fall. _Chance_ _would have been a fine thing! _She mused silently. _God, what a fool!_ Even without the million regs that stood in the way, why did she have the audacity to think that a man like the Colonel would ever feel anything for her? He was a simple man with simple tastes. What would he do with a scientist who annoyed the hell out of him half of the time and confused him the other half? No wonder he'd returned to a simpler life with a simpler woman! Not for the first time in her life, Sam felt both regret and anger at what her intellect, once again, had cost her. Why did having the desire for a fulfilling career have to mean that she scared away all of the men she had ever felt anything for? Back at the Academy, her budding romance with Tom Peterson had ended abruptly when she'd ace a test that he'd all but failed and he'd flown into a jealous rage about how she'd probably only passed because she was screwing the Major in charge of the class. Then Jonas, who had taken every opportunity he could to, how did he put it? Put her in her rightful place. Just when she had begun to think that maybe not all guys would see her that way...

_Now_, she mused to herself, _that's not fair. Daniel would _never_ think that way about you,_ her internal voice filled in. But, even if he wasn't still very much in love with his wife, Sam had never, ever even considered seeing Daniel in that way. He was too much like her brother in so many ways. Her flesh crawled at the very idea of sleeping with- urgh! No, _definitely_ not an option. And maybe that was her problem. She wasn't attracted to men like Daniel Jackson. The men she was drawn to were the dangerous ones. The ones with whom she treaded the line between flames and intimidating aggression. Those men she knew would equally give her intense pleasure and scared the crap out of her at the same time. Maybe she couldn't have one without the other? As though somehow the pleasure centre in her brain had become exonerably hard-wired into the adrenaline-fuelled fight-or-flight response?

_God Sam, could you be any more pathetic?_ Her internal voice mocked as she stared at the now less than half-full whisky bottle and her empty glass. You're sitting here getting mindnumbingly drunk over a guy who was not only your CO until this morning but a man who, by all accounts, was willing to throw himself into bed with every woman in the galaxy but didn't even have the good grace to throw a thank you your way for saving his life!

She could hear her father's stern voice in her head.

'_Get a grip of yourself, Airman!'_

Sam was exhausted. She sank further into the sofa cushions and poured herself another glass. Tomorrow would bring daylight and with it clarity and regret but right now it was dark, she was alone and she still had half a bottle of liquid courage. And, for now, that was just dandy with her.

%#%#%#%#%#%#

Waking with a severe pounding in her head and a shooting pain down her left arm, Sam groaned and lifted her watch to her face. 0530. Letting her arm fall across her face, she kicked the afghan off of her legs that had somehow fallen off the back of the sofa during the night where she'd fallen asleep. Her mouth was dry, her throat sore and she was in pain. Swinging herself up and planting her feet on the floor to steady herself, she pried herself off the sofa and stumbled toward the bathroom. Grabbing the empty glass off the side of the sink, she filled it with cold water and downed it in a few gulps. Refilling the glass, she repeated this several times and placed the glass down again, leaning on the sink with her arms outstretched and staring at her red-rimmed eyes in the vanity mirror. God she felt rough.

She threw on the shower and turned the temperature and pressure up to high before grabbing her toothbrush and scrubbing away with the toothpaste until all she could taste was a minty burning to replace the straight-up burning sensation. Tossing the toothbrush back into its holder, Sam stripped off yesterday's blue BDUs and stepped under the steaming shower head where she stayed for a good forty minutes, washing away salty trace of last night's tears and the stench of stale alcohol seeping from her pores. She intentionally chose the strong minty shower gel that usually burned her eyes. It might help to disguise the last of the tell-tale alcohol smell until her kidneys had had enough time to filter it from her system. She hoped.

%#%#%#%#

Daniel tapped quietly on the door to Teal'c's quarters and waited for his deep baritone response.

"Daniel Jackson, please enter," he spoke evenly as Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose with one hand and shoved the other into his pocket.

"Teal'c," he greeted, "I'm not, uh, disturbing you, am I?" He asked gesturing at the candles that surrounded his bed. Teal'c looked up at Daniel from his cross-legged position on the floor.

"You are not," he confirmed. "Please, join me."

Daniel closed the door behind him and lowered himself to the floor, mimicking Teal'c posture. Teal'c waited for him to speak.

"Urm, I wanted to speak to you about Sam," he started, pausing at the mention of his teammate's name. Teal'c inclined his head. "Does she seem... a little off to you?" He continued when Teal'c didn't speak immediately. "I mean, not that many others would notice, but she's been kinda weird ever since... last week." He said, tailing off and hinting at Jack's resignation the previous week. Teal'c bowed his head.

"Major Carter has been deeply affected by the loss of Colonel O'Neill." He stated.

Daniel rubbed a hand on the back of his neck.

"Haven't we all?" He mused tiredly, gazing down at a nearby candle flame.

"Indeed," Teal'c followed, "but it has been my observation that, when it comes to O'Neill, Samantha is affected in a much deeper way than is usual for her," he continued. Daniel's head shot up.

"What do you mean, Teal'c?" He asked, more than a little surprised at Teal'c's observation.

"I mean exactly that, Daniel Jackson. Samantha feels deeply for Colonel O'Neill, this much is evident by her extreme distress at his loss on several occasions."

Daniel opened his mouth and closed it again.

"Teal'c, you don't think they... I mean, I know there are regulations... I don't think they'd... _Really?_" He finished in a very un Daniel-like string of not-quite sentences. Teal'c shook his head.

"I do not believe that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter have ever undertaken a physical relationship," he clarified, "but it is clear that, perhaps if the situation were different, they may have chosen to do so long before now."

Daniel frowned at Teal'c.

"**_They_**?!" He asked, surprised.

"Have we not on many occasions witnessed O'Neill become severely distressed at the thought of losing Major Carter?"

Daniel shrugged.

"Yeah, but so was I," he added, "that's not necessarily-"

Teal'c cut him off with a knowing stare.

"Might I remind you, Daniel Jackson, that both O'Neill and Major Carter are warriors? They do not show emotions as plainly as you are at liberty to do so."

Teal'c watched as Daniel replayed memories in his head of events of the last few years and his eyes went wide as he slowly began to put the pieces together. At Daniel's shocked stare, Teal'c smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

"Well, I'll be... how did I not notice this?" Daniel narrowed his eyes at Teal'c. "More to the point, when did _you_ notice? And why didn't you tell me?!"

"I did not think that either O'Neill nor Major Carter would appreciate me discussing something of themselves which they obviously did not intend to reveal," he explained.

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, ok, fair point. But, seriously, when? What made you notice?"

Teal'c considered the question for several moments.

"I first suspected O'Neill's conflicted emotions when the alternate Dr Carter arrived on base and I learned of his knowledge of her marriage to her O'Neill. Of Major Carter's feelings I could not be certain until O'Neill was missing-"

"- on Edora," Daniel interrupted, nodding his head in agreement. He rubbed his hands over his face. "God, how did I not notice this?" Teal'c bowed his head.

"I believe that they have hidden it well, from themselves and each other," he said softly.

Daniel blew out a breath.

"God, poor Sam," he exclaimed angrily, "I knew Jack could be an ass but this... how could he just up and leave us?"

From his tone, Teal'c knew that Daniel was as angry for Sam as he was for himself.

"There are times when a warrior must do the things he despises, despite his own feelings on the subject," Teal'c explained, his tone knowing and sad, "I am certain that, in time, he shall return to us."

"Teal'c's right," came Sam's voice from the door as Daniel's head whipped round to see her leaning wearily against the door frame. He blushed in the dim light at being caught discussing her with Teal'c. He searched her face to try to find a trace of what she might have heard but found nothing. Looking at Teal'c, he gave a slight tilt of his head. Apparently she hadn't been standing there for very long. Stepping into the room and closing the door behind her, she lowered herself to the ground next to Daniel and regarded her teammates with a weary smile that didn't quite reach her black-ringed eyes. She looked as weary as Daniel felt.

"So, Teal'c, when did you realise?" She questioned.

"Realise what?" Daniel asked, swallowing loudly and hoping that she wasn't referring to-

"That there's something fishy about this whole thing with Colonel O'Neill?" She confirmed, regarding Daniel with a slightly questioning look. _What else would I be talking about?_

Daniel shook his head as though clearing water from his ears and turned to Teal'c.

"You think Jack is... undercover or something?!" He asked incredulously. At Teal'c small head nod, Daniel exploded. "But why the hell would he not _tell_ us?! We're his friends!"

"There's only one reason he wouldn't," Sam stated quietly, "Because he was ordered not to."

"But, but... we're his team!" Daniel spluttered as Sam shushed him and her eyes darted back to the closed door.

"I know, Daniel." She looked to Teal'c for reassurance. "But he may not have had a choice."

"Major Carter is correct," Teal'c chimed in. "It is the only explanation for O'Neill's... unusual behaviour."

Daniel stared at Sam in disbelief.

"And you buy this?" He demanded. Sam nodded in resignation. "I can't believe... what makes you so sure?" He asked firmly. Sam looked at him and then away at her clasped hands resting on her crossed ankles, resolutely refusing to meet his gaze.

"Just something he said to me in the hallway before he left," Sam confessed.

"And what exactly did he tell you?" Realisation dawned. "That stuff about not being himself?" She nodded. "But... How did you...?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably.

"I just... call it a hunch," she finished, her eyes betraying the lie.

"_Saaam_," he pressed and she stiffened next to him.

"_Daniel_," she emphasised, closing her eyes. "Can you just trust me on this one?" She asked pleadingly.

He frowned at her and turned to Teal'c who remained impassively mute. So much for the backup.

Sighing, he rolled his shoulders as though driving out a crick in his neck.

"I take it you're in agreement with Sam?" He asked Teal'c. "Fine, then what do you suggest we do about it?"

Sam shook her head.

"Nothing. We wait." She said firmly. "Any interference from us at this stage could risk the Colonel's life and we don't know who we can trust at this point."

"Not even Hammond?!" Daniel squawked. Sam shook her head.

"He probably ordered it. In which case he won't tell us anything and if he thinks we suspect..." Sam tailed off.

"Great!" Daniel exclaimed, flinging his hands in the air. "So we just have to put up with Makepeace until Jack makes it back on his own?"

Sam smiled at Daniel and clasped his knee.

"I bet you never thought you'd be sorry to be rid of the Colonel's sarcastic one-liners, eh?"

Her smile faltered slightly at the mention of his title, despite her jovial teasing.

Daniel made a show of rolling his eyes.

"God, _never_ tell him I said that, he'll be insufferable!"

Sam laughed, the first one he realised he heard from her in months.

%#%#%#%#%

"Unscheduled off world activation!" came Sgt Harriman's voice through the comms system. Daniel hurried, coffee mug in hand, to the control room where he met a confused looking Sam and an impassive Teal'c staring at an open iris and a surge of people stumbling through the Stargate. Even under the black ops gear he'd recognise that hand wave anywhere. Jack!

SG-1 followed the General down to the Gateroom and, no sooner had he reached Jack, an explanation of the mystery guests followed, much to the palpable relief of Hammond. Daniel took the fact that he was looking at Jack with pride as confirmation of everything they'd long suspected. A flood of SFs entered the room and Hammond began issuing orders to arrest their visitors. Jack stepped to the side, pulled his beanie roughly from his head and took several steps towards his former team.

"Sir," Sam greeted with a ghost of a smile. He nodded solemnly at her.

"Carter."

He continued to stare at her for a few moments before Daniel took a step forward and punched him in the arm. Hard.

"Ow!" Jack exclaimed, more shocked than hurt. Daniel frowned at him then broke into a small smile. Jack nodded in acquiescence. "I guess I deserved that," he added, wringing his beanie in his hands. He looked towards Teal'c. "You got anything to add?" He asked.

"Indeed I have not, O'Neill." He stated casually.

He gestured towards the corridor.

"How about I explain over steaks?" He asked jovially, only his eyes betraying his churning stomach. What if they turned him down?

Daniel clapped him on the back.

"So, about me visiting you..." He tailed off as they turned and exited the Gateroom.

#%#%#%#%#%#%

The hum of voices floated across O'Malley's as the bright lights from the kitchens outshone the sconces along each wall and the hanging Tiffany lamps above each table. SG-1 sat in a booth along the back wall, away from the gathering crowds. Four large empty plates sat stacked at one end of the table along with four empty bottles. Daniel waved a hand towards the bar.

"Anyone want another?" He asked, standing and looking at them expectantly. They all nodded. "Good," he nodded towards the bar. "Teal'c, mind giving me a hand?"

Teal'c bowed his head and rose from his seat, following Daniel away from the table. Jack fidgeted in his seat as Sam stared across the table at him. Jack watched her expression for a few moments before sighing and leaning forward across the table.

"So... how long did it take you to figure it out?" He asked calmly. Sam's eyes widened and she tore her gaze away from him and stared at her hands on the tabletop.

"About half a bottle of McCallans," she confessed barely above a whisper, picking at and shredding her empty beer bottle label. Jack's brow furrowed as he opened his mouth and shut it. He wasn't entirely sure he'd heard her correctly over the jukebox. Carter had got drunk after he'd left?

He cleared his throat and she looked up at him.

"I...ah...oh." He ended inarticulately. Shame filled her eyes as he held her gaze, his eyes softening at the corners at the disgust he saw reflected in those blue pools.

"It's not something I generally make a habit of, Sir," she added. "It's been a tough few months."

Jack leaned back in his seat.

"Yeah, about that Carter..." He started, pausing and taking a breath before continuing. "I never did thank you. For bringing me home." Sam's gaze hardened.

"It's nothing, Sir. Just doing my job."

He made to reach across the table as though to grab her hand but froze halfway across and bounced his hand off the table a couple of times, squeezing his fingers into a fist. He pinned her with a look.

"We both know that's bull," he stated, lowering his voice. "Daniel, Hammond, Fraiser, hell, even Siler told me how hard you worked to get me home," he added, pausing to gauge her reaction. He took her holding his gaze as encouragement enough. "I mean it, thanks for bringing me home. I'm glad you did."

Sam laughed derisively and rolled her eyes.

"You sure seemed like it, Sir!" She added with a snort. Jack frowned and raised a hand in a stop motion.

"Carter,... _the hell?_" He demanded, confused at her sudden frostiness at his apology. "Why would you think I wouldn't want to come home?"

Sam pinned him with a stern look.

"I don't know, Sir. I mean, I guess I'd be a little reluctant as well if I'd met some-" Sam cut herself off and blushed at what she'd been about to say. Damn it, she'd only had 2 beers.

Jack stared at her confused for a moment as he processed what she'd been about to say. As realisation dawned, his eyes grew wide and he looked like a deer in headlights. He studied Carter's face for some confirmation of his rapidly spiralling realisation. She thought he'd wanted to stay on Edora. With Laira. She must have overheard their conversation. Shit! He'd upset her.

Then it hit him. She cared that he wanted to stay on Edora. With Laira. He looked up into her eyes, searching for... something. Anything. Her expression was closely guarded but a tell-tale twitch at the corner of her eye gave her away. Holy -

"I'm sorry, Sir, it's none of my business," she added, looking away. He was kind of glad she had as he was still reeling from that piece of information she'd just inadvertently revealed to him. Ever since her alternate had stepped through that mirror and confused the hell out of him, he'd felt a sense of unease whenever he was alone with Carter. He hadn't wanted to dig any deeper for fear of what he might discover so he'd ignored it. But, evidently, he wasn't alone in this whatever it was. And that discovery had blown his carefully constructed lie into a million pieces.

"Carter, I... that retirement thing?" He offered tentatively, seeing her look at him with a guarded expression, "I...ah... Edora wasn't on my list," he finished so quietly that he could've heard a pin drop.

Sam narrowed her gaze.

"You see," he continued, "I have this cabin in Minnesota. With a lake."

"A lake?" She enquired, confused at the sudden change of direction.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Sounds, ah, lovely, Sir," she added, still confused.

"See, the thing is, I never really planned to retire there by myself. The place is too big."

Sam frowned at him and he picked at the pieces of label Sam had abandoned on the table.

"I kind of see myself fishing on the dock with a dog and... someone..." he tailed off, wincing.

Sam held his gaze and her breath.

"Did you, ah, have someone in mind, Sir?" She asked too brightly. She was sure he could see right through her.

He looked down at the table.

"I don't know," he said barely above a whisper, "I guess there might be... but probably not."

Sam frowned questioningly at him.

"Why not, Sir?"

Jack wiggled his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders at her.

"Because smart women don't tend to go for old worn out dogs like me," he said, holding his breath for her response. Apparently he'd said something right as her eyes began to gleam as her mouth turned up a fraction at the corner at some joke she'd apparently decided not to share.

She smiled up at him.

"Oh, I don't know Sir. You may be surprised." She lifted an eyebrow. "An experienced, attractive older man who isn't scared away by a few college degrees is harder to find than you might think."

Jack's eyebrow twitched as he struggled to control the grin threatening to split his face. Carter thought he was attractive. Whoo boy!

"Attractive and experienced?" He queried.

Sam took the beer Daniel handed to her as he and Teal'c resumed their seats, Jack's stare still pinning her to her chair.

"Just a guess," she added before taking a long draw from the bottle held between her index and middle fingers.

He let out a long breath and reached for his beer, not noticing Teal'c and Daniel sharing a knowing look across the table.

"I don't know who told you that, Carter, but trust me. Anyone who thinks your brain is anything less than a national treasure is an idiot any day of the week."

Sam's answering smile was worth every second of the last few weeks.

Daniel cleared his throat. Sam and Jack snapped out of their staring contest and turned to Daniel.

"So, what did we miss?"


End file.
